Martin (John Amplas), a young man who looks around 20-years-old, boards a train in Indianapolis, Indiana for New York. At night, he breaks into a sleeping car and sedates a woman with a syringe full of narcotics. She struggles, but he tells her not to struggle or be upset because she wont feel pain. After a few minutes, the woman falls asleep, and Martin has sex with the unconscious woman. Afterwards, he slices her wrists with a razor blade so he can drink her blood. The woman bleeds to death in her sleep.
In the morning, the train stops in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania where Martin disembarks. He is met by Tata Cuda (Lincoln Maazel) an elderly and hostile old man who claims to be his cousin from the Old World. Together, they travel by another train to the town of Braddock, a dying industrial suburb. They walk to Cuda's large house where he shows Martin his living quarters. Cuda then accuses Martin of being an 84-year-old vampire from his old country. He has taken in Martin because he is family, but tells him, "First I will save your soul. Then I shall destroy you." Martin denies being a vampire and implies that Cuda is merely his uncle rather than his cousin. Cuda then puts up strings of garlic on the doors to his and his granddaughter's room, and then holds up a small cross when Martin approaches him. Martin takes away the cross, and even takes a bite of the garlic mocking these attempts by saying bitterly, "There's no real magic... ever". Cuda tells Martin that he can come and go as he pleases. But he also warns Martin that he will kill him if he kills anyone in Braddock. He also tells Martin to stay away from his granddaughter Christine (Christine Forrest), whom arrives home from her job that evening.
Cuda introduces Christine to Martin, but also warns her to stay away from him. But Christine instead strikes up a friendship with Martin who confides in her about his vampire heritage. When Cuda later confirms Martin's claims to be a vampire, Christine, not surprisingly, refuses to believe either one. She thinks that Cuda and the other members of her family have driven Martin to insanity by making him think that he is a vampire. It is never revealed if Martin really is a vampire, or just a shy and lonely youth with troubled issues. Christine is the only person that Martin gets the courage to talk to. When Christine's boyfriend Arthur (Tom Savini) arrives at the house for dinner, Martin stops talking and backs away despite Arthur's attempt at a conversation. Christine later confides in Martin that she hopes to leave Braddock someday with Arthur, even though Martin points out that Arthur treats her badly and is both verbally and physically abusive towards her.
When Christine sees that Martin won't talk to anyone else, she buys him a phone which he installs in his room. Martin begins to repeatingly call a radio talk show where he describes what it's like to be a vampire. He becomes known on the radio as "the Count" to all the listeners. But the patronizing host (Michael Gornick) thinks he's just crazy.
Martin gets a job at Cuda's grocery store of stocking shelves, hauling boxes around, and even gets to be a delivery boy for some of the customers. One of his customers is a certain Abby Santini (Elyane Nadeau), who becomes taken in with Martin. She is a very friendly young woman who is depressed when she tells Martin that her husband is unfaithful. But Martin still does not have the nerve to talk with her, so she is happy to have someone to confide in with her life problems. Martin phones the radio show host to describe his infatuation with the housewife and senses that she wants to have sex with him. When the radio show host asks Martin if it is a sexual problem that he has involving women criticizing him during sex, Martin replies that he has never had sex with a woman who was awake.
One day, Martin travels by train to outside Braddock to look for victims. At a supermarket, he follows a young woman (Sarah Venable) home to her posh suburban house. He sees the woman's husband (Richard Rubenstein) leave for a long business trip, and Martin decides this would be the right time for more feeding. Martin returns to the house after dark and breaks in through the garage door. But it is Martin who gets the surprise when he bursts into her bedroom to find her in bed with her adulterous lover Lewis (Al Levitsky). After a vicious struggle, Martin jabs both of them with hyprodermic needles with narcotics, and waits for the drugs to take affect. He drags the unconscious body of Lewis from the house to a clump of trees across the street where he kills him by shoving a broken tree branch into his neck and drinks his blood. Martin returns to the house where he has sex with the unconscious woman. But out of compassion and pity, he decides to let her live.
Martin begins to have romantic monochrome visions of his vampire past (real or imagined), where he drained blood from a young woman and was chased through the streets of a nameless European town by a torch-lit mob.
During one Sunday at church, Cuda brings home Father Howard (George A. Romero) who asks him about the possibility of exorcism and demon possession. Father Howard calls upon the elderly Father Zulemans (Clifford Forrest, Jr.) over at Cuda's request. Together, Cuda and Zulemans confront Martin his bedroom and attempt to perform an exorcism on him. At this point, Martin remembers (another real or imaginary flashback), in the Old Country of people trying to perform an exorcism on him, and he flees them. Martin then flees from Cuda and Zuelmas as well. A little later that night, Martin terrorizes Cuda in a children's playground when he puts on a Dracula cape and puts false fangs into his mouth to pretend that he really is a vampire.
One day, Martin finally musters the courage to talk with Mrs. Santini during a routine delivery to her house where he tells her that he's aware of her attempts to seduce him and wants now to have sex with her. After having sex for the first time, Mrs. Santini becomes more depressed for she tells Martin that her husband just left her because she discovered that she cannot bear children, and that her desires towards him are based on sex and nothing else. But Martin wants to stay with her and help her move on with her life. Martin tells the radio show host about his affair with the housewife and that he no longer has the urge to attack other women.
Meanwhile, Arthur meets with Cuda and tells him that he wants Christine to leave town with him so they can get married and start a family. But Christine becomes angry at Cuda when he tells Arthur that insanity runs in their family and he shouldn't consider having children with her. Shortly afterwards, Christine packs up and leaves Braddock for New York with Arthur despite Martin telling her that Arthur is abusive towards her. But her mind is made up. Before leaving, Christine tells Martin that she really has no ill feelings towards him and just wants to make a fresh start with her life. She says goodbye to him and promises to write. But Martin knows that with an abusive and possessive man in Christine's life, she probably won't.
Depressed over losing his one true friend, Martin phones the radio show host and tells him that he's getting "shaky" and wants to go out looking for more victims. That night, Martin travels to a rough crime-ridden area of Pittsburgh and attacks two derelicts in a alley, injecting them with narcotics. He kills one of them by silting the bum's wrist and drinking his blood. Martin is about to kill the second one when a police car shows up and gives chase. Martin narrowly escapes during a long chase on foot which leads from the garbage strew streets and through a local store. Martin runs into an old warehouse where a drug deal is going down. A shootout between the two cops and the three thugs begins where all of them are killed, leaving Martin as the sole survivor who casually walks away from the carnage.
One day, Martin finds Mrs. Santini dead in her bathtub, after she had slit her writs with a razor blade. Martin anonymously calls the police to report the body and leaves. He phones the radio show host one final time to say that he really doesn't need friends or people to talk to for he is his own person. But when Cuda learns about Mrs. Santini's suicide, is mistakenly thinks Martin killed her and made it look like a suicide as he's done before. Cuda walks into Martin's room while he is asleep and kills him by hammering a wooden stake through Martin's heart.
Cuda buries Martin's body in his back garden, while over the closing credits various voices from people are heard talking to the radio show host asking the whereabouts of "the Count".
东北电影常常因为真的很东北而分数低，这部不一样，没有太东北，因为后面拔高垮了
做为一个电影，故事还是很完整的，该交待的交待，就是不免俗套，但又何妨
但是还是存在一些技术问题，比如音画不够统一、部分段落光源不足导致画面噪点太多、甚至是肉眼可见的穿帮…都挺影响观感的。
笑点密集。后半段反转太生硬了，有bug。三星半
害挺好的，适合下饭……迷影细节不少，刀爷演技真棒。
佳佳，大潘 这些都是东北非常好的喜剧演员啊。还有宋晓峰，之前看过他的我不是酒神，也很好啊。东北取景，东北的事儿，拍出来很好看。
5/10。开头质感还不错，越看越无语，看到最后都要给我看乐了，编剧写的啥玩意儿啊，想写人性结果一点深度没有，纯纯喊口号。导演煞有介事整个黑白，结果整个片子看起来也不是按照黑白电影画面的逻辑拍的，就几个大景深镜头能表现出一点水墨质感，大部分时间都在被并不舒服的画面折磨。方言台词听着很怪，看了短评恍然大悟台词就不是按方言逻辑写的，体验很不好。你要说这是学生作品那我勉强原谅，但是从院线作品角度看待实在是打不出高分。
几个场面，电影里不如短视频更有笑点，但是个不错的喜剧片
随份子就是一张彩票，是个好思路，说不定人家就发了。
葬礼冲突转的太硬
继续努力吧。感觉就像投资人拿了三百万硬让你拍出一部电影的感觉。
刀爷的演员演技挺好，以前他拍新喜剧之王的时候就看得出来。
故事硬伤太多，但是小俏皮段子太搞笑了。“你烧水呢？！”“包子就是昨天的”hhhh
开头好多蛇，有点吓人；很独特的抗战片，画面超美；有些画面像水墨画，想起了胡金铨，芦苇荡的部分竟然有点像塔可夫斯基
——这气氛多像电影，正常男主都应该叼根烟，然后再放首《当年情》，那气氛一下就上来了。
开头第一镜长镜头蛮好的，感觉主创试图用长镜头摄影、灰蒙的调色与专注个体叙事的理念去制作一部不同于宏大主旋律叙事的独特战争片。表现了一些战争的残酷和战场的混乱。林中的几个镜头倒有些超现实的意味。然而很遗憾，在最终战打响之前又开始搞高呼口号那一套腐朽陈旧的恶心东西，一下子让前面的努力瞬间破功。影片中的敌我双方都是人，也都有兄弟。但对于敌方的描写除了开篇的“鞭尸者”有所点滴着墨，后面便沦为符号。结尾一战我方人员倒下个个都有兄弟赶来支援或陪伴，敌方人员倒下就“享受”不到这种待遇了。唯一的女性角色旁若无人地游走于敌我之间，轻松地与主角一行多次会合，也很无语。单枪匹马的伤员如何突破重重关卡成功完成任务也没交代。如果这就算对“主旋律”的突破，那还差得远呢。两星半
有笑点，剧情设计也蛮亮眼的，就是刘平安和范大明白到底啥关系没看懂啊。
段子和小品拼成的电影，那我觉得我现在其实也能当个编剧。
总体来说，是一部质量不错的处女级作品。
作为一部网大，虽然就那样，至少能看下去，几个戏骨演技还是不错没有很出戏，但其他演员确实有那种出戏感，后来知道原来男主就是导演，那确实挺不容易的，要鼓励也要努力，不仅是给导演也给自己。
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