Martin (John Amplas), a young man who looks around 20-years-old, boards a train in Indianapolis, Indiana for New York. At night, he breaks into a sleeping car and sedates a woman with a syringe full of narcotics. She struggles, but he tells her not to struggle or be upset because she wont feel pain. After a few minutes, the woman falls asleep, and Martin has sex with the unconscious woman. Afterwards, he slices her wrists with a razor blade so he can drink her blood. The woman bleeds to death in her sleep.
In the morning, the train stops in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania where Martin disembarks. He is met by Tata Cuda (Lincoln Maazel) an elderly and hostile old man who claims to be his cousin from the Old World. Together, they travel by another train to the town of Braddock, a dying industrial suburb. They walk to Cuda's large house where he shows Martin his living quarters. Cuda then accuses Martin of being an 84-year-old vampire from his old country. He has taken in Martin because he is family, but tells him, "First I will save your soul. Then I shall destroy you." Martin denies being a vampire and implies that Cuda is merely his uncle rather than his cousin. Cuda then puts up strings of garlic on the doors to his and his granddaughter's room, and then holds up a small cross when Martin approaches him. Martin takes away the cross, and even takes a bite of the garlic mocking these attempts by saying bitterly, "There's no real magic... ever". Cuda tells Martin that he can come and go as he pleases. But he also warns Martin that he will kill him if he kills anyone in Braddock. He also tells Martin to stay away from his granddaughter Christine (Christine Forrest), whom arrives home from her job that evening.
Cuda introduces Christine to Martin, but also warns her to stay away from him. But Christine instead strikes up a friendship with Martin who confides in her about his vampire heritage. When Cuda later confirms Martin's claims to be a vampire, Christine, not surprisingly, refuses to believe either one. She thinks that Cuda and the other members of her family have driven Martin to insanity by making him think that he is a vampire. It is never revealed if Martin really is a vampire, or just a shy and lonely youth with troubled issues. Christine is the only person that Martin gets the courage to talk to. When Christine's boyfriend Arthur (Tom Savini) arrives at the house for dinner, Martin stops talking and backs away despite Arthur's attempt at a conversation. Christine later confides in Martin that she hopes to leave Braddock someday with Arthur, even though Martin points out that Arthur treats her badly and is both verbally and physically abusive towards her.
When Christine sees that Martin won't talk to anyone else, she buys him a phone which he installs in his room. Martin begins to repeatingly call a radio talk show where he describes what it's like to be a vampire. He becomes known on the radio as "the Count" to all the listeners. But the patronizing host (Michael Gornick) thinks he's just crazy.
Martin gets a job at Cuda's grocery store of stocking shelves, hauling boxes around, and even gets to be a delivery boy for some of the customers. One of his customers is a certain Abby Santini (Elyane Nadeau), who becomes taken in with Martin. She is a very friendly young woman who is depressed when she tells Martin that her husband is unfaithful. But Martin still does not have the nerve to talk with her, so she is happy to have someone to confide in with her life problems. Martin phones the radio show host to describe his infatuation with the housewife and senses that she wants to have sex with him. When the radio show host asks Martin if it is a sexual problem that he has involving women criticizing him during sex, Martin replies that he has never had sex with a woman who was awake.
One day, Martin travels by train to outside Braddock to look for victims. At a supermarket, he follows a young woman (Sarah Venable) home to her posh suburban house. He sees the woman's husband (Richard Rubenstein) leave for a long business trip, and Martin decides this would be the right time for more feeding. Martin returns to the house after dark and breaks in through the garage door. But it is Martin who gets the surprise when he bursts into her bedroom to find her in bed with her adulterous lover Lewis (Al Levitsky). After a vicious struggle, Martin jabs both of them with hyprodermic needles with narcotics, and waits for the drugs to take affect. He drags the unconscious body of Lewis from the house to a clump of trees across the street where he kills him by shoving a broken tree branch into his neck and drinks his blood. Martin returns to the house where he has sex with the unconscious woman. But out of compassion and pity, he decides to let her live.
Martin begins to have romantic monochrome visions of his vampire past (real or imagined), where he drained blood from a young woman and was chased through the streets of a nameless European town by a torch-lit mob.
During one Sunday at church, Cuda brings home Father Howard (George A. Romero) who asks him about the possibility of exorcism and demon possession. Father Howard calls upon the elderly Father Zulemans (Clifford Forrest, Jr.) over at Cuda's request. Together, Cuda and Zulemans confront Martin his bedroom and attempt to perform an exorcism on him. At this point, Martin remembers (another real or imaginary flashback), in the Old Country of people trying to perform an exorcism on him, and he flees them. Martin then flees from Cuda and Zuelmas as well. A little later that night, Martin terrorizes Cuda in a children's playground when he puts on a Dracula cape and puts false fangs into his mouth to pretend that he really is a vampire.
One day, Martin finally musters the courage to talk with Mrs. Santini during a routine delivery to her house where he tells her that he's aware of her attempts to seduce him and wants now to have sex with her. After having sex for the first time, Mrs. Santini becomes more depressed for she tells Martin that her husband just left her because she discovered that she cannot bear children, and that her desires towards him are based on sex and nothing else. But Martin wants to stay with her and help her move on with her life. Martin tells the radio show host about his affair with the housewife and that he no longer has the urge to attack other women.
Meanwhile, Arthur meets with Cuda and tells him that he wants Christine to leave town with him so they can get married and start a family. But Christine becomes angry at Cuda when he tells Arthur that insanity runs in their family and he shouldn't consider having children with her. Shortly afterwards, Christine packs up and leaves Braddock for New York with Arthur despite Martin telling her that Arthur is abusive towards her. But her mind is made up. Before leaving, Christine tells Martin that she really has no ill feelings towards him and just wants to make a fresh start with her life. She says goodbye to him and promises to write. But Martin knows that with an abusive and possessive man in Christine's life, she probably won't.
Depressed over losing his one true friend, Martin phones the radio show host and tells him that he's getting "shaky" and wants to go out looking for more victims. That night, Martin travels to a rough crime-ridden area of Pittsburgh and attacks two derelicts in a alley, injecting them with narcotics. He kills one of them by silting the bum's wrist and drinking his blood. Martin is about to kill the second one when a police car shows up and gives chase. Martin narrowly escapes during a long chase on foot which leads from the garbage strew streets and through a local store. Martin runs into an old warehouse where a drug deal is going down. A shootout between the two cops and the three thugs begins where all of them are killed, leaving Martin as the sole survivor who casually walks away from the carnage.
One day, Martin finds Mrs. Santini dead in her bathtub, after she had slit her writs with a razor blade. Martin anonymously calls the police to report the body and leaves. He phones the radio show host one final time to say that he really doesn't need friends or people to talk to for he is his own person. But when Cuda learns about Mrs. Santini's suicide, is mistakenly thinks Martin killed her and made it look like a suicide as he's done before. Cuda walks into Martin's room while he is asleep and kills him by hammering a wooden stake through Martin's heart.
Cuda buries Martin's body in his back garden, while over the closing credits various voices from people are heard talking to the radio show host asking the whereabouts of "the Count".
放映厅和电影里的欢笑声交织在一起，竟让我无法分辨
最后大家围坐看费里尼的场景确实让人感动，说着电影好无聊的大家，客厅墙上却挂着安妮塔的海报！！！哈哈哈哈太有意思了。
真好。喜歡。像今時《繁花》切下一隻角。大上海小日子。隨便講一講。講得鮮活酸辣、鬆弛自由、深一腳淺一腳、哭一哭笑一笑、一生就在眼裡了。無甚大故事。可是有戲。摩登國際的東方戲。穩也穩得。浪也浪得。半世狂半世收。彷如選美大賽的三小姐。時代的秘密。傳奇的主人。
属于上海的千姿百态，活色生香。这个前两年还在卖电子烟的90后导演身上，能看到彭浩翔，Woody Allen，John Carney，Greta Gerwig。
get到了马伊琍，想念一位诗人和我给他的洋甘菊，想念老大昌苔条花生蝴蝶酥恒隆修鞋摊和咖啡，并且觉得原来中年的生活也可以过得有滋有味。
作为年轻导演的处女作确实很惊艳！但是也存在新导演的不足，开篇的轻喜剧氛围被老乌与索菲亚罗兰的“爱情神话”带向了荒诞迷离风，不过结尾的微信彩蛋又把节奏带回来了。
非常好看，上海的那个小资味儿拍得惟妙惟肖。修鞋的大爷坐在摊位后的小凳上一边磨咖啡豆一边教白老师：every woman needs a pair of Jimmy choo in her lifetime，太洋气了。另外，里面有一句台词是：不像有的电影，明明是翻拍的，宣传的时候又不提。哈哈哈哈，你就指名道姓得骂吧！
前半部分笑点很多，徐峥杵那里弄个表情就想笑。大家称赞的两场戏，餐桌上与画廊墙壁投影上的女性主义宣言都有种话剧感乱入之尬（因为是将更年轻点的小资亚逼故事移植到中年中产身上？中年人会这么讲话么？）；对于觉得老乌那故事最尬的观众，我们是否可以理解成是有意经营的荒诞，尤其是他死亡的缘由。开头话剧名字的自嘲就很好笑，所有人除了吃穿讲究睡来睡去并无展现多少“艺术涵养”，一张dvd进去，野鸡字幕组免责声明飘出来，看到困觉不如涂护手霜；国际学校校车反复停，“我在推特上看到”，“八九年出国留学”，“你外公留下的房子”。而最“悬浮”的正是这个，在一团和气的片子里唯一差点显出地域歧视的老乌，写着满是病句的策展语，念叨着早已过时的风流韵事，爱惯浪头，但精神与物理居所都脆弱地仰赖他者，一副老灵的肌肉下喝点酒就能一脚去
要是背景乐能少一点，修鞋匠没有这么神叨叨的，Gloria没有关上门后那一刻的黯然神伤，李小姐和白老师就这么算了，那我愿意给5颗星。
不过其它地方还挺好的，很喜欢片中上海的生活气息~
「和索菲亚罗兰的故事，感人吧？我编的。」一开始觉得文艺报菜名有点硬，到最后渐入佳境，沪味正浓。剧情离散，爱却真实。
徐峥说过：“我很想拍这么一部纯沪语的上海电影，并不是因为上海话有什么优势，而是因为这么本土，这么有特色的东西，它值得一个记录”。真希望成都有朝一日也能有这样的电影
喜欢的原因在于：它对上海近乎吐槽式的刻画，跟我想吐槽上海的东西，一模一样。它太上海了（鞋匠就可以代表全体上海人），可以作为城市情景剧看，所以很开心，不用想其他。
内心的小野兽是藏不住的～活出自我真的太棒了！
灵哦，居然用了三首我记得的歌
为人生的一小把糖，排了很长的队。为青春的一次邂逅，吹了很久的牛。没抢过剩饭的野猫是不完整的，没开过画展的杂家是不艺术的。不管神话还是笑话，总有人愿意陪你说话，不管上坡还是下坡，总有人愿意为你颠簸。离的太近就看不清楚，离的太远又变得模糊，灵与欲之间的距离，信以为真的人先迈出那一步。邵艺辉的沪上爱情本帮菜：下坡路也要穿jimmy choo，借一晚肉身也得尊重艺术，犯了错也敢理直气壮挽回，当不成艺术家也得开画展，拆开看没啥意思，摆在一起就立体了。邵艺辉善于捕捉场景和台词的多义性，有过短暂起飞的瞬间，但整体还是处于踮起脚往上够的状态。尤其是配乐太扣分，如同幕布一般把情绪间隔开，电影变成了情景剧。结尾处观众成为被观看的对象，影像的景深立刻打通：她们看不懂我们，是因为我们总把爱情当成神话。老乌的原型也许是李春平。
我猜一定很多人会给低分，我是真喜欢这种电影，看起来很轻松， 已经不会考虑剧情和演技的问题，因为这就是生活，最后还自己吐槽自己！
喜欢。轻于生活，重于人情，止于神话，始于相信。
并不是宣传话语中的女性视角，而是有意无意地对标了《老炮儿》。当然上海没有北京老炮儿，上海有的是上海爷叔。该片面子是上海闲话的讥诮凉薄和市井人情，里子是两个老男人的春梦。比较难得的是并没有对所谓上海腔调真的沾沾自喜，而是用一种善意的调侃演绎了人到中年的苍凉，在嬉戏自嘲中流露了一抹深情，上一次有类似观感的影片还是伍仕贤的《独自等待》。
其实本质上还是对华裔中产家庭的一种想象性书写，具备多大现实性，并不好说。作为中国观众，看着更有些隔靴搔痒，至少在我目力所及，中国式母女的冲突比这要生动得多，也惨烈得多。说白了，“成就个性，接受不完美自我”已经是极其奢侈或是下一阶段的需求了，当下女性的需求，比这更底层，也更迫切。
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